I had been traveling along the East Road for some miles and wanted nothing more than to warm myself, both inside and out! Twinkling lights in the distance showed promise and I hastened my stride. The gatekeeper let me in after asking me my name and my business. “My name is Charlie. My business at the moment is finding something to eat.” I wanted to add, “Now get in my belly!” but thought better of it.
Walking up the road, I soon came to a respectable looking Inn. Heavy curtains behind shuttered windows could not hold back the promising sounds within: the clink of plates, the chatter of customers, and the all too familiar gushing noise of beer being chugged.
I walked in and the landlord took me to a table. It was off to one side of the room and not too far from the comfortable fire. Through the lamp-lit haze I could make out the various patrons across the room. I ordered a drink, sat back, and relaxed—finally resting my tired feet.
My repose was soon broken by an unexpected scene. There had been a large gathering around a little fellow telling a story. I didn’t pay much attention to the group until someone else (who had obviously taken as much drink as was good for him) climbed up on a table. He spoke a few words I couldn’t make out when a few folks called for a song. Much to my surprise, he obliged. The song was some nonsense about cows and cats and fiddles, but it was enjoyable enough. I was about to join in the singing myself when suddenly our funny little performer leapt into the air and came crashing down into a tray full of mugs!
This was just what I needed after a weary day of traveling. I began to laugh, but it died on my lips as I realized this fellow simply disappeared as soon as he hit the ground. I mean, he was there and then he wasn’t! I’d never seen such a thing before and I doubt I ever will again. The commotion was what you might expect, and everyone found this turn of events most queer and disturbing. Just as the crowd was trying to explain everything to the innkeeper, he shows up again! Says he just crawled away quickly under the table after he fell, but I wasn’t buying it.
Most everyone left after that. He and his friends headed back to their rooms followed by a shadowy figure I had not noticed before. I took a room myself and slept like the dead. The next morning I saw them all head off but whatever became of them, I’ll never know. Probably got lost in the woods and were never heard from again.
Now we separate the true geeks from the rest of the pack. I’m sure half of you might have enjoyed my little trip to The Prancing Pony in Bree here and the rest of you are scratching your heads. Either way, what does my little story have to do with the “eating out” category? Well, true geek that I am, I always thought it would be cool to go hang out at the Prancing Pony. And whether you’re a fantasy fan or not, pretty much most fiction (books, movies, TV) sooner or later has a restaurant scene.
So that’s this week’s poll: what’s your favorite fictional restaurant? Want to go eat at Mel’s Diner? Or maybe Milliways: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Or how about real life places that have a prominent place in fiction, like Tom’s Diner?
But for those of you, like me, who really would love to travel to Bree, your only hope is probably this CD. Listen to the Dwarf and Orc sample, if your QuickTime is up to date. If not, just come on over to my place and I’ll play the CD for you. You bring the beer. But please, stay off my tables.
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January 29th, 2009
Some of us who are overweight now weren’t always that way. We may have started out thin and only ran into weight problems in high school, or college, or right after that four hour hot dog eating contest. For those of us with “adult onset weight issues” I have some good news for you. Maybe. […]
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17 Comments »
January 28th, 2009
In early November, I mused a bit about what I’d like to be when I grow up. We dream about things as kids and precious few of us ever get the chance to play out our dreams in real life. Sometimes that’s actually a good thing. As exciting as it sounded at the time, I […]
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9 Comments »
January 27th, 2009
During those vacations where I’ve made up my mind to just eat whatever I want (which, I can assure you, happens no more than eighty or ninety percent of the time) I always look forward to decadent breakfasts. I’m talkin’ pancakes, bacon, hash browns (oh the hash browns), bacon, fried eggs, bacon, and eggs fried […]
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26 Comments »
January 26th, 2009
Two weeks ago I was having a bit of trouble. I read about (and subsequently attempted) a dietary experiment. And last week I gave my preliminary results. At the time, things were looking generally positive, but I wanted to hold full judgment until I had at least one more week of falsified data great results […]
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18 Comments »
January 23rd, 2009
The following is an encore presentation of Back to the Fridge. It’s late. I’m tired. I have a headache and one severe case of writer’s block. So please enjoy this re-run from October 3, 2008. In the meantime I think I’ll opt for some BBBB. It’s Friday! Know what that means? It’s one of our […]
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16 Comments »
January 22nd, 2009
As I travel the blogosphere and read other weight loss and fitness blogs, I’ve learned one thing: there are lot more bloggers of the female persuasion than there are of my particular gender. Fortunately, this imbalance has given me great insight into the inner workings of the female blogger mind. Here are just a few […]
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31 Comments »
January 21st, 2009
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20 Comments »
January 20th, 2009
For some reason, back in 1998, I decided it would be a good idea to walk the Chicago Marathon. (Actually, it was my sister’s idea. I just decided to tag along. Full details of this adventure can be found in a certain book I wrote.) For now what’s important is the Honeycomb Cereal. And what […]
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19 Comments »
January 19th, 2009
Last Thursday, I talked about a study that said, in so many words, the more you eat, the more you gain. It’s not just about the excess calories building up around your body, but the fact that the act of overeating actually makes you want to eat even more. This obviously leads to a vicious […]
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21 Comments »
January 16th, 2009
The family went out to eat again. I’m not exactly sure where we were, so let’s just call it Chotchkies. “How many tonight?” asked the host with seventeen pieces of flair. “Four,” I responded. “Name?” he asked. “Um…looks like Stan,” I said, squinting at his tag. “Not my name. Yours.” “Oh, sorry. It’s Charles, but […]
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13 Comments »
January 15th, 2009
Most of us made some resolutions two weeks ago. And, if history is any indicator, it’s likely a majority of us have given up swimming against the current and are back to our old ways. (Hey, there’s always next year!) But not us, right? We’re the Cool Kids. We’re going to hang in there. Sure […]
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15 Comments »
January 14th, 2009
Everybody (I would assume) has some sort of secret (or guilty) pleasure. It’s that one thing you know you probably shouldn’t do. It’s that one thing you generally don’t tell anyone about. And if someone ever did find out about it, you’d have to come up with some sort of excuse to explain it away, […]
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23 Comments »
January 13th, 2009
We have a winner! I decided to give away two packages of Pioneer country gravy mix last week. I just now went to random.org and asked for a number between 1 and 30 and it gave me 15. So I went back to the comments and realized it was: Tammy. Tammy who won my one […]
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25 Comments »
January 12th, 2009
While I did complain last week about exceeding my self-imposed holiday weight gain limit, in all reality, I didn’t mind it that much. Sure, maybe the big picture still looked okay, but that’s not the real reason it didn’t bother me deep down. I was okay with it because it was just one quick week. […]
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21 Comments »
January 9th, 2009
I first talked about Home Slice Pizza back in October. While I had high praise for their wonderful food, I also lamented the fact that I had only been there once. Whelp, over the long Christmas break, I righted that wrong. My mom was in town for Christmas. Shortly after she arrived, we made up […]
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8 Comments »
January 8th, 2009
My dad had a fairly large store of stock sayings. I won’t go into all of them (at least not today) but more than a few have stuck in my head over the years. The one I’m thinking of right now is, “Always use the right tool for the right job.” I’m pretty sure Tim […]
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26 Comments »
January 7th, 2009
It’s the first Wednesday of the month and time for another installment of “Hey, Don’t Forget I Wrote A Book and It’s Still For Sale.” About a month ago I was doing some ego-searching and came across a review I hadn’t seen before. It’s always cool when people I don’t know at all write something […]
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17 Comments »
January 6th, 2009
Have you ever had a monkeyball sandwich? My guess is you haven’t, considering it’s something I made up myself and I haven’t told anyone about it. So if you have heard of it, that can only mean you own a time machine, you read this post, went back in time, fixed a monkeyball sandwich, and […]
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32 Comments »
January 5th, 2009
Sixty-five days. Two hundred meals. One hundred and fifty thousand calories. All gone in a heartbeat, vanishing quicker than a piping hot order of fries placed within eighteen inches of my mouth. One solstice. One Treats Day. Four major holidays. Blink, blink, blink. I have no idea where the time goes. All I do know […]
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16 Comments »
January 2nd, 2009
Although the new year is now officially underway, let’s face it: our diets don’t start until Monday. So even though we’ve all vowed to “eat right and exercise” this year (some of us, for the 27th year in a row, but, by golly, this year will be different) we may just find ourselves eating out […]
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14 Comments »
January 1st, 2009
The clock ticked midnight and all our slates were wiped clean, just like that. What a magical gift we give ourselves every year. In yesterday’s post, I reflected on the year gone by. Today it’s time to look ahead and make the traditional impossible promises to ourselves. First off, I resolve not to make any […]
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10 Comments »
. . .
on January 30, 2009 at 4:47 am
The Peach Pit from Beverly Hills 90210 always looked good.
on January 30, 2009 at 5:19 am
Funny, I started reading this and thought “what is he, in middle-earth?!” Well, yes, as it turns out.
I think I would hang at Cheers. You know, back when Sam Malone was young and hot. (No offense Ted.)
on January 30, 2009 at 6:28 am
Monk’s from Seinfeld. Which doesn’t exist, however, the place that was used as Monk’s for filming does exist. It’s called Tom’s.
on January 30, 2009 at 6:35 am
Hugh Akston’s Diner in Atlas Shrugged where Dr. Akston says to Dagny, “If you find it inconceivable that an invention of genius should be abandoned among ruins and that a philosopher should wish to work as a cook in a diner – check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.”
on January 30, 2009 at 7:13 am
I would be hanging out at the Central Perk from Friends!
on January 30, 2009 at 7:56 am
Put me in “Ricks” from Casablanca. I always wanted Sam to play it again.
on January 30, 2009 at 8:09 am
Helen: Yep, that’s the “Tom’s Diner” mentioned above. And I’m sure not many people realize the restaurant from Seinfeld and the a capella song by Suzanne Vega are the same place.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom%27s_Restaurant_(Manhattan)
meg: So if you had to pick one, are you Monica, Rachel or Phoebe?
🙂
on January 30, 2009 at 8:54 am
The WhistleStop Cafe from Fried Green Tomatoes. I would order the ribs. Then again, maybe not
on January 30, 2009 at 9:28 am
I’m so all about the restaurant at the end of the universe. I’ve loved Douglas Adams since I was a child. =) And….I’ve been watching a lot of old Xenas and Hercules episodes on netflix and your story just seemed…familiar and normal somehow since I’ve been immersing myself in that sort of world lately. Happy weekend!
on January 30, 2009 at 11:51 am
I wanna go to that place where the Soup Nazi works on Seinfeld. I bet they have good soups 🙂
on January 30, 2009 at 12:38 pm
The cafeteria in Scrubs! (just trying to keep it American! 😉
Tusc 😀
on January 30, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Not only did I recognise it from the words “East Road”, I am playing Lord of the Rings Online in my lunch break while reading this blog.
/dork
on January 30, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Oooo, love The Prancing Pony. Think Gandalf’s enchantment on the beer has run out yet?
My choise is not so much a restaurant as a candy store: Honeyduke’s from the Harry Potter series. I think the trip would be worth it alone for the Toothflossing Stringmints…although, MaryBe, Whistle Stop Cafe would be a close second on my list. No ribs for me, either, thanks. 😉
This post also made me remember one of my biggest fiction vs. real-life disappointments. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the evil witch gains the younger brother’s cooperation by promising a lifetime supply of Turkish Delight. I imagined a confection like English Toffee. Imagine my disappointment when I tried some (from Turkey, no less) it in real life: it was fruity and had a jelly-like consistency. Not even worth selling out annoying siblings to obtain, that’s for sure.
on January 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm
(Whoops, pardon the typos in the above. What the heck happened to my inner copy editor???)
on January 30, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Macanally’s Pub from the Dresden Files (series by Jim Butcher).
I always love seedy bars in fiction, even though I don’t like them in person. I do, however, like a dimly lit homey place with really good beer.
on January 30, 2009 at 2:46 pm
I am just really confused right now.
Maybe its the cough drops I’ve been chugging!
on January 30, 2009 at 7:54 pm
“Kiss My Grits”
I’d love to go to Mel’s Diner from the show Alice. I loved Flo, she was hilarious!!!
on January 30, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Sorry, I forgot to paste in the url . If you have no clue about Mel’s Diner, click Here
on January 31, 2009 at 8:09 am
The Great Hall at Hogwarts – does that count. Not a diner, but the food is great looking in the movies.
on February 2, 2009 at 10:56 am
I would love to have a beer at the Regal Beagel. Come and knock on my door….
on February 27, 2009 at 6:00 pm
It’s gotta be Central Perk from Friends.