Christmas Radio

I remember way back in the day hopping in the car, flipping on the radio, and hearing a Christmas song. It was early December and I thought, “Hey cool, something to get me in the mood.” After the song finished another one came on. Then another and another and another. Now, some dozen or so years later, they’re still playing.

While it was kind of charming at first, I really hate to say it but it’s getting really old now. Yes, yes, I know. “Just don’t listen to it. If you don’t like it, Charlie, just turn on the All Britney Spears station in stead and quit wasted precious blog space on a pointless rant.” And I agree with you. When I first set out on this whole blogging thing, I promised myself I wouldn’t just randomly rant about stuff. So prepare yourself for the most controversial post in Back to the Fridge history.

My peeve? The fact that over the last seventy years or so of quality audio recording technology, the Christmas Radio Industry has selected just sixteen some odd songs. Sixteen songs which they play over and over and over and over. And then, when they’re done, they do it again.

I probably tune in for fifteen minutes in the morning and fifteen minutes on the drive home. Tops. That’s one forty-eighth of the day, what some might consider a small sample size. Yet in that tiny, tiny slice of time, I’ve heard “Feliz Navidad” about one hundred and seventy-two times. I’ve heard “Here Comes Santa Clause” almost twice that many times. What gives? Is it that hard to find a few rare gems out there? You know, something we’ve never heard before and might appreciate? Or is playing the “classics” just that much in demand that we have to hear WHAM!’s “Last Christmas” every twenty-two minutes for a solid month?

I guess I don’t get it.

So now, for your holiday pleasure, here’s the list of Christmas Radio Songs I don’t ever need to hear again ever (not counting the ones already listed above). In no particular order:

• All I Want For Christmas Is — Mariah Carey
• Do They Know It’s Christmas — Band Aid
• Anything with chipmunks singing
• Jingle Bell Rock -or- Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
• Home For the Holidays — The Carpenters
• The Christmas Shoes
• I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas
• Same Old Lang Syne — Dan Fogelberg (come on! It’s not even a Christmas song for Pete’s sake!)
• Wonderful Christmastime — Paul McCartney & Wings
• Blue Christmas — Elvis Presley

And just so you know two things: 1) I’m not a hater, and 2) I am a complete hypocrite, here’s a list of songs I don’t mind hearing over and over and over.

• It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year — Andy Williams
• Christmas Eve (Sarajevo) — Trans Siberian Orchestra
• Wizards in Winter — Trans Siberian Orchestra
• Santa Claus Is Coming to Town — Bruce Springsteen
• White Christmas — Bing Crosby
• Sleigh Ride — Johnny Mathis
• Jingle Bells? — Barbra Streisand
• The Twelve Pains of Christmas — Bob Rivers

Of course, neither list is exhaustive, but in an effort to not exhaust you, I’ll just go ahead and stop here. Whew! And just to leave things on a happy note, here’s a re-run from last year. Rachel and I playing Carol of the Bells:

And with that, I bid you a Happy End of 2009! I shall be taking the rest of the year off, blogging-wise, and will see you back here on January 5, 2010 where hopefully my weight won’t be 2,010. Take care everyone!