Time for a pop quiz! I hope you’ve all been paying attention, since this test represents twenty-five percent of your final semester grade.
1. When a friend presents you with a box of Cheez-Its, do you…
- Politely refuse with, “No thank you! I’m watching my girlish figure!”
- Take a handful, because, well, you know, mustn’t be rude?
- Take a hand off as you embark upon a shark-like feeding frenzy?
2. Your coworkers bring three dozen Krispy Kreme donuts to work (and they’re still warm). Do you…
- Politely refuse with, “No thank you! I’m watching my girlish figure!”
- Watch and drool as others partake, greatly tempted to grab one for yourself, yet you somehow resist?
- Shout, “Hey, look! There goes Elvis!” then grab thirty for yourself as all heads turn?
3. Your family takes you to Red Robin (home of the “Bottomless Fries” basket) to celebrate a minor event (such as the arrival of Friday). Do you…
- Order a salad with extra spinach and a teaspoon of dressing (on the side, of course)?
- Get your usual meal but save half of it for lunch tomorrow?
- Cause Red Robin’s stock price to plummet as you deplete their current fiscal year’s supply of potatoes?
4. You wake up one morning absolutely starving. Do you…
- Fix two pieces of whole wheat toast with a light coating of I Can’t Believe This Cheap Substance Isn’t An Actual Dairy Product?
- Eat a Strawberry Pop-Tart?
- Cause Cap’n Crunch’s stock price to soar as your breakfast actions exceed analysts’ third quarter estimates?
5. On the opposite end of the day, it’s eleven o’clock and you’re about to go to bed. But for some inexplicable reason, you’re still hungry. Do you…
- Brush your teeth and hit the sack, full knowing that filling your belly right before sleep is the worst possible thing you can do?
- Eat a Strawberry Pop-Tart?
- Build yourself a four-foot-tall Dagwood Sandwich in the hopes that in doing so just this once, you might fill yourself up for a week and therefore actually turn this disaster into a positive experience?
Give yourself one point for every “a” answer, two points for every “b” answer, and three points for every “c” answer. How do you rate…?
0 — You are amazing. You shall weigh 80 pounds the rest of your life.
1 to 17 — Not bad but could be a little better. Try cutting down on the time you spend awake.
18 to 155 — Not only is your Switch in the “off” position, it’s actually been disconnected by the utility company.
| Week 1 | |
| Start Date | June 20, 2010 |
| Change from Last Week | n/a |
| Start Weight | 230.0 |
| Current Weight | not sure |
| Total Lost | not sure |
At the end of week one, I find myself with a quiz score in the eleven to thirteen range. I’m definitely no longer eating twenty-seven thousand calories of Pringles each week, but I’m still not what I would consider “on”. Yet. That said, I did find myself at a Dairy Queen two nights ago and I ordered: nothing. Yes, even with the Blizzard’s Twenty-Fifth Anniversary in full force, I celebrated with a sixteen ounce cup of air. So at this point, a couple days into Week Two, I will go with “cautiously optimistic?”
How about you? How’d your quiz score turn out?
on June 29, 2010 at 1:39 pm
My switch is “on.” Loved that post, BTW. I’m a saint–definitely deserve to weigh 80 for the rest of my days. Scary family vacay coming up, though. We’ll see how shiny my halo is after a run in or two with s’mores around the campfire.
on June 29, 2010 at 3:42 pm
My switch is “on” too – but I’ll never be 80 pounds!!
My weigh in is tomorrow for the first time in a month, and I don’t feel any different, although my legs feel stronger because of the bike riding – tomorrow we shall see! 😀
p.s. I’ve still never been to a Red Robin!
on July 1, 2010 at 8:19 am
Come visit me and we’ll drive by their parking lot, safely outside the gravitational pull of the bottomless fries.
on June 30, 2010 at 7:51 am
My switch is getting flipped off and on right now. Which is pretty much where I’d bet most of us are. Well, at least most of us who have to take family trips to Dairy Queen, Red Robin and have 9,000 picnics scheduled between now and Labor Day.
BTW, I tried all afternoon yesterday to get in and kept getting your “go away” screen. I thought you had blocked me because you saw my secret answer about the Cheez-Its.
on July 1, 2010 at 8:20 am
I have no idea what happened to the site yesterday. Eventually just fixed itself. I’m positive Cheez-Its were behind it. They can’t be trusted.
on June 30, 2010 at 10:39 am
I am stuck in bed with an ankle sprain (epic!) after a really stupid accident (as opposed to a smart one….). Anyhoodle, I am reasonably proud not to be bringing the entire Cheez-it box in to bed with me and will simply say, eating take out (I am the only one who will cook dinner around here) for every evening meal is not as much fun as it sounded.
on June 30, 2010 at 2:47 pm
haha an entertaining quiz….i don’t know WHAT my answers would be…but thanks to you *evil look* i am now craving krispy kremes!!!!!! xx
on July 1, 2010 at 6:49 am
Love the Savage Chickens. A friend got my husband a t-shirt with them on it that says:
Run a marathon?
I’d rather poke my eyes out with a fork!
He wears it when he comes to watch me finish a marathon. He’s gotten some interesting looks.
Good score – I think being more in the middle is better than being too regimented!! Keep at it Charlie – you can do it…just stay away from the Krispy Kremes – they are sugar crack! 🙂
on July 2, 2010 at 10:19 am
I scored 13! I will now cut down on the time I spend awake. Thank you for this enlightening quiz!
on July 13, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Eating, loving, singing and pooping are, in actuality, the four acts of the mirthful opera known as the freshness, and they pass like bubbles of a grit of champagne. Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a entire fool.
Sent from my iPad 4G
[Another bit of spam just strange enough to be approval-worthy. –Charlie]