Is it About Choice?

I actually started this post back in December. And in some ways, I’ve already written what I’m going to say at least twice before. But a recent chain of events has caused me to give this topic yet another go. It’s all about the fundamental question of “choice.”

The first event in this chain happened in mid-November. I was still hanging in there on the last diet run, but starting to feel those old habits sneak back into the daily routine. I posted that I was “getting worried” that The Switch may be on its way to shutting itself off. One comment on that was by Roni who said:

“the Switch is not under our control”

When I read that I laughed aloud as this is where you and I disagree the most.

Even though there are factors that INFLUENCE the switch I still think you relinquish your control of it too easily.

As Anna said above, what the alternative? I will always believe you have a choice. It’s a hard choice and you may not want to make it all the time but simply throwing your hands in the air and saying it’s not in your control seems like a cop out to me.

Echoing these sentiments almost verbatim was Debbi who recently said:

IF losing weight is important to you, you CAN do it. It’s not like you don’t know what to eat. You’ve been on enough diets that you know that taco bell will not cause you to lose weight, even if it is just one taco. You have done this so you KNOW how to do it. I think that it’s BS to say that you have no control over it. I think that is an excuse and just giving up. You control what goes in your mouth and what you do.

I hate what I’m about to do here. Obviously, I wouldn’t have called out these two comments if I wasn’t about to refute their claims. And the reason I hate that is because I want them to be right about this. Both of these comments could be used to positively influence people, bringing us back from the brink of dietary despair and empowering us to take charge of our lives. That’s what this is all about: helping each other even in the face of enormous odds.

So that’s why I hate playing the part of Mr. Reality, because Mr. Reality (to the optimist) always looks like Mr. Pessimist. I’m all “down, down, down” and all “woe is me” and it looks like I’m trying to host a little pity party all for myself. So I need to figure out a way to say this without coming across like that, but I’m not sure if I can. I truly believe that a little realism can be just as effective as a rah-rah cheer, when properly internalized. But no one likes to hear about reality when they’re attempting to buck the odds.

Is it about Choice?

My answer typically tends towards “no”, which is no surprise to anyone who’s been around me the last two decades. And I find it really disappointing that people interpret this as an excuse to eat whatever I feel like. Because I do not feel that way. Who on a successful thirty-pounds-lost, six-month run of a diet CHOOSES to fail? Who on the third day of a brand new diet CHOOSES to fail? Who really and truly WANTS to stay in an unhappy state?

If this were as easy as a simple CHOICE, there wouldn’t be a two-billion-dollar-per-year diet industry out there. If this were as easy as CHOOSING our destiny, then why do 75%, 85%, 95% of us fail at this? If our Favorite Diet Plan is sooooo successful and easy, why do we now find ourselves on it for the tenth, eleventh, or twelfth time? If this simply came down to CHOICE, we’d be done and I could finally get back to blogging about puppies.

How’s that for a rah-rah speech? I know, I know. I’m Mr. Negativity and Joe Cop-out. But humor me and let me continue, because I think I may have an explanation.

The Heart of the Problem

The debate over choice is rooted in one precept: that everything our bodies do can be neatly divided into two areas: involuntary and voluntary. I’m pretty sure the entire planet agrees that keeping our hearts beating is in the former category and that going bungee jumping is in the latter. Your body chooses to keep blood moving around your body while your brain chooses to jump head-first into a river with only a rubber band to save you. Clear as a bell.

Unfortunately, this black-and-white view of the world tends to overlook the mysterious dark area between involuntary and voluntary called compulsion. We all know compulsive behavior. We’ve all seen it. And to tell someone who suffers from OCD to simply CHOOSE to stop tapping the light switch twenty-four times before leaving the room is a bit unhelpful on many levels.

“But Charlie,” you say. “There’s a huge difference between a documented disorder and you eating that third bag of Doritos. How can you be so callous as to even suggest there’s a link between the two?” Well, that’s easy: a large body of evidence. The only thing that can explain thirty million dieters failing over and over and over again–in spite of having every intention and desire and the will to succeed–is that some sort of overwhelming compelling force is making us do otherwise.

I think everyone knows what I’m talking about. It’s that feeling you get in the middle of that third bag of Doritos and you’re wondering, “Why am I doing this?” “Why can’t I stop?” You try. You really try. But you can’t. Ironically, shortly after Roni’s above comment, she posted this:

WHAT is with the night time snacking? You aren’t even hungry. Actually you’re full. Over full!

There’s nothing wrong with a “snack” but now you are entering the eating just to eat stage. Night after night it’s the same thing. You don’t even know WHY you are pillaging the pantry, you just are. Is out of habit? Boredom? What? WHAT is it?!?

You’re experiencing compulsion. Your body has wrested control from you and is moving calories into your body. It’s not going to tell you why or even ask your permission. Even Debbi knows what I’m talking about. Her first comment on the topic was:

I GET what you mean by the switch but I also GET what Roni says. I’m more with you though, it’s almost like an unknown force that turns it on and keeps it on. Sure we have a choice and control but sometimes, no matter how hard we WANT it, it just isn’t going to happen.

That “unknown force” has a name: compulsion.

So What’s The Point of All This?

My goal here is to get this out in the open and talk about it. Mr. Reality believes that admitting the problem is the first step in fixing it. If we turn a blind eye to the fact that “unknown forces” drive us to do things we’d rather not do, then no upbeat rah-rah speech will save us. I feel like confronting this fact out in the open is a necessary step to getting past it.

I already know the standard reply to the compulsive binge: “Yes, Charlie, but you have a CHOICE about whether you pick yourself back up and get right back on track.” To me, this still falls into the “blind eye” category because it completely dismisses the fact that the binge took place in the first place. If CHOICE were as powerful as you say, then the binge wouldn’t have happened at all. And if I couldn’t prevent the first binge, what will be different about the second one?

Next Steps

So there it is. It’s all out in the open now and we can talk about it. Our job is to somehow turn the reality of compulsion into a positive force. How? I have no idea. I mean, If I knew that, then thirty million people would be giving me two billion dollars a year. (And that’d be sweet, because I’d then immediately give all of it back to fight hunger and homelessness. But that’s a topic for another day.)

So what’s your take on all this? Am I really just giving up and copping out? Am I bringing people down? Am I lazy or completely crazy? Or am I on to something? Let’s talk!