Disaster on the Hudson
by Charles Wedge, Staff Reporter
The Goose Tribune
January 15, 2009
NEW YORK, N.Y. – In one of the worst disasters in recent history, forty-three geese were killed and another seven were seriously injured when their flock was struck mid-flight by some sort of large metal predator.
Witnesses on the ground reported the flock taking off Thursday, mid-afternoon. Don Gander, 47, was one of them. When asked if there was anything unusual about the take-off, he replied, “Honk, honk, honk, honk. Honk, honk, honk!” A boy, Randy Gosling, 12, also added, “Honk! Honk! Honk!”
According to official reports, the flock, sick of the cold weather, had finally decided enough was enough and made plans to leave for Florida. They took wing around 3:05 pm for their long journey south, with their first stop scheduled near a Burger King parking lot in Trenton. The flock rose to its normal cruising height of around 3,000 feet when witnesses reported hearing a loud noise.
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| Don Gander, witness to the accident. |
Geese on the ground shouted, “Honk! Honk! HONK!” desperately trying to warn the flock of the approaching bird of prey. It was very large, very loud, and didn’t even flap its wings before ruthlessly attacking the skein!
Experts noted that such encounters have happened before, and do so more frequently around large, dense populations of humans. Public Service Announcements have been aired, trying to warn geese of this ever-present danger. But sometimes the message never gets through. “Joe Goose on the street never thinks it will happen to him,” said Polly Gaggle, flight safety specialist.
A candlelight vigil has been planned for next Monday evening. A memorial service follows the next morning. Geese wishing to attend have been kindly asked to walk.
on January 21, 2009 at 4:30 am
haha…You are too funny. And that is why I keep tuning in 🙂
on January 21, 2009 at 4:41 am
ha, what a great thing to read so early in the morning!
on January 21, 2009 at 5:21 am
You crack me up! Your blog has become a necessary break in the morning from the drudgery of work. Thanks!
on January 21, 2009 at 6:06 am
Hilarious! I can’t wait for the movie.
on January 21, 2009 at 7:10 am
Nice 🙂
on January 21, 2009 at 7:53 am
The weight loss ad was my favorite. Brilliant!
on January 21, 2009 at 8:02 am
Stop. It.
🙂
on January 21, 2009 at 9:30 am
For the memorial, black feathers optional, a meal to follow with seed and flax oil puffs with night crawler cocktails. Please check your bills before entering.
Complements- The Down and Out funeral hall.
on January 21, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Oh, my goodness…that was brilliant!!
Shade and Sweetwater,
K (thanks for the laugh!)
on January 21, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Very creative!
It was so refreshing to see a completely different take on the Hudson story. Reminds me a big of the 3 Little Pigs told from the wolf’s perspective.
on January 21, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I meant bit, not big. I should prrrroooffffread once in awhile.
on January 21, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Love the WingTrim ad! VERY funny!
on January 21, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Good one Charlie – hey its the day before your [CENSORED].
My what? The day before what?!
on January 21, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Honk ! HONK ! Honk !
on January 21, 2009 at 6:01 pm
You crack me up!
on January 21, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Hey meg? When did you change your name? First “Megan”, then “megan”, and now just “meg”.
How do I know that’s really you? Perhaps you were abducted by aliens and this is the kind of subtle change we shouldn’t overlook.
on January 21, 2009 at 7:33 pm
You’re brilliant. I love it!!!
on January 22, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Haha, too cute! Did you see Andy Samberg’s bit about the goose’s perspective on SNL last week? Pretty funny.
on January 22, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I didn’t see the SNL thing. (So, did I inadvertently plagiarize it?)
on January 26, 2009 at 7:46 pm
This is great!