Chinese Food

Welcome to Part 3 of a Four Part Series entitled, “The Four Food Groups.” Last week we covered one of my long-time favorites, the Mexican Food group. This week, it’s Chinese Food. (The astute Back to the Fridge reader knows that a disclaimer is imminent: I have never been to China or eaten any truly, authentic Chinese food. My guess is I don’t want to. So I’m talking about what Americans call “Chinese Food” and not what the Chinese call “food”.)

I was a picky eater growing up. My mom raised me on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I wasn’t complaining. Well, except for that one time I decided to put pepper on one, and I didn’t like that at all. Then there was that other time I complained about “fluffernutters.” This was a horribly disgusting blend of peanut butter and marshmallow Fluff on white bread. I don’t know why it was invented, or worse, why it was fed to innocent children. This “food” was provided by the neighbors who watched us kids after school. I used to try to get their Dobermans to eat my sandwiches. It never worked.

I’m still a picky eater today, but my tastes have definitely branched out. For example, my new favorite sandwich is peanut butter and banana. Believe it or not, I’ve had one of those each day for the last three days. They’re incredible! I can’t believe I never thought I’d like them. Perhaps the fluffernutter turned me off to any non-standard PB&J sandwich. Fortunately I came to my senses.

Now … what was I talking about again? Oh yeah! Chinese food. The year after I graduated college I moved to Des Moines, a city known for its insurance industry and the fact that it has 2.4 Chinese restaurants per capita. Clearly, if I were to live in this town for any given period of time, I was going to have to learn to like this food.

So one day, after agreeing to meet a friend at a Chinese restaurant, I realized I was about to make a very big leap. I was going to have to eat food with color and taste. Worse, it was very likely to contain vegetables: a toxic substance as near as I could tell at the time. After scanning the menu to find the shallow-end equivalent of Chinese food, I settled on Kung Pao chicken. Once my order was placed, I nervously awaited the dish. My fears were quite founded when it came with “things” in it: carrots, broccoli, and several completely unidentifiable vegetable-like substances.

But then I tasted it. Oh boy! This was GOOD. Holy cow, I had no idea. The rest of the lunch went something like this: nom, nom, nom. I ate it all. Even the bits I couldn’t name.

Today, as you can see, I have elevated Chinese food to one of my four major food groups. I’m still a picky eater, of course, and there are still plenty of items I have not attempted—nor will I ever attempt. To be honest, I’m perfectly content with the 18.4% of the menu I adore.

Besides, it’s not as if I actually need more food to like. Watching what I eat is hard enough without piling on additional vices.

Tune in next week for the fourth and final food group. Anyone care to take any guesses!?