Day 9000

Today we once again touch on a difficult topic: the passage of time.

Each of us is acutely aware of the fact that the older we get the faster time moves. Up until the sixth grade or so, we generally experience time moving forward at the expected rate of one second per second. By the time we hit high school we notice, “Wow, middle school sure went by fast,” yet we’re still new enough to this concept to look at the high school seniors towering over us and think it’ll be “forever” before we’re that old.

Except that time now speeds up even more than it did in middle school. We’re now moving forward at the rate of about two seconds per second. A few classes, a few finals, and we’re suddenly looking at the incoming freshmen as if they were eight years old.

College then moves along at the rate of about three seconds per second. Our twenties move along at the rate of about seven seconds per second. By the time we’ve wrapped up our thirties, we’re experiencing time now moving along at twelve seconds per second.

And this just keeps on keeping on until that fateful day when we step on the scale, sigh at the number between our toes, type that number into our spreadsheet and realize: today is Day 9000.

Don’t believe me? Here’s my proof:

It seems like it’s only been two weeks since I wrote this post about Rachel, or this post about Sarah, or even this post about Day 7000.

That’s right. It’s already been two thousand days since my Day 7000 post. Five years, five months, and three weeks ago, for those of you keeping score at home. And what happened in the seemingly two weeks since I published that post? Well, let’s take a quick inventory:

1. I finally upgraded Excel.

That’s all I can think of. And there, in a single bullet, is my problem: time flying by with seemingly nothing to show for it. But that concept is the topic of a completely different post. So (fortunately) I’ll stop here before going completely off the rails.

Do you know what else is the topic of a completely different post? Those blurred out numbers in my spreadsheet above. It’s not that I’m hiding my weight. But I am hiding the story of my weight. And that is, after all, what Back to the Fridge is about. So tune in again on New Years Eve for Charlie’s Epic 2014 Year In Review Post.

I guess I’d better start writing that. New Years Eve will be here in about three hours.