I’m starting to run the risk of turning Thursday into Rantsday. This is bad for two reasons: 1) Thursday is the one dang day a week I thought I might actually try to help people; and 2) I hate when people rant. It’s pointless. Everybody’s got an opinion, and ranting does nothing to advance us as a species. The people who agree with you will still agree with you. The people who don’t agree with you won’t be swayed. But sometimes I just can’t help it. And Thursdays seem to be turning into those “sometimes.”
I just got done reading an article entitled “Ten Reasons Your Boyfriend is Making You Fat,” based on the book Your Big Fat Boyfriend: How to Stay Thin When Dating a Diet Disaster by Jenna Bergen. I think I was turned off right at the onset when the author was quoted, “Gaining weight is every woman’s worst nightmare.” Not ovarian cancer. Not harm coming to your children. Not thermonuclear war. Gaining weight is every woman’s worst nightmare. (If only we lived in that world.)
Okay, okay. I’m being a little harsh. It’s supposed to be fun and upbeat and there’s nothing like a well-placed superlative to advance you toward that goal. That said, I still took issue with some of the facts stereotypes used in the list. Let me know what you think:
1. He’s a guy and guys don’t understand words like “fat, calories, daily allowances, nutrients, vitamins, antioxidants or food groups.” Uh … duh … what’d that say? I might have understood it if I didn’t watch football sixty hours a week. Pass the Cheez Whiz and beer, babe. Oh, and get me a Bud while you’re up.
2. He can always eat. I’m a guy! I have SUPER METABOLISM. It says I can “shovel huge quantities of food without it showing up anywhere on my bod.” Yes, that’s right. Lord knows I can eat 5,000 calories a day and not even gain an ounce. Nothing happened to Morgan Spurlock when he did it. Men are INVINCIBLE.
3. Big is better. Apparently since my hands are three times the size of yours, I have a completely different concept of “a serving.” This is why I eat manhole-sized pancakes and you eat grapefruit.
4. You’re his new BFF. Because you’re my new best friend, I will force feed you Taco Bell daily.
5. He thinks dieting is dumb. HA HA HA HA HA HA.
6. He loves you in sweatpants. Um … okay, this one is true. Why that makes you gain weight, though, is beyond me. Oh wait. Here it is. Sweatpants means lounging around, and lounging around means gnawing on cookies non-stop the entire weekend. I can see that.
7. He’s too cozy with the couch. Foul! This is the same as #6.
8. Cooking = Takeout. John? Did you read this one? Apparently all we can cook is grilled cheese and ramen noodles.
9. He shops like a five year old. Flattery will get you nowhere.
10. The only veggie he eats is fried. Not true. I eat pickles all the time.
Anyway, sorry for yet another rant, but this one really bugged me. (Of course, the icing on the cake is that the article was accompanied by my favorite ad here. So I’ve already lost all respect for this web site anyway. I mean, it’s supposed to be devoted to helping people diet and it’s absolutely peppered with these predator ads. Sounds to me like its primary devotion is to its bottom line.)
Before I go, though, one last thought. I think what gets to me the most about this book is the thought that it’s guaranteed to outsell mine 10,000 to 1.
on March 12, 2009 at 3:59 am
Hey Charlie, thank you for popping by my blog and for your support. I guess that makes you a guy who *does* understand, but ugh wait, that can’t even be possible right… now get back to filling your male brain with sports stats and music trivia 😉
p.s. love what I’ve read of your blog so far, I look forward to catching up some more
on March 12, 2009 at 5:38 am
If it’s any consolation I’d never buy abook like that! The only person that makes me fat is ME!!
And I love your rant thursdays! hehe!
Tusc 🙂
on March 12, 2009 at 5:49 am
It seems that when I was in high school, I had boyfriends who could eat a burger and 2 hot dogs for dinner, and not think much about it. Now that I’m older, I no longer know any guys like that. However, my current bf eats a lot more fried food, meat, and desserts than I can eat, and I’ve had to learn to steer him to healthier choices. The food I cook for him may be all the veggies he generally eats. I can eat pizza and beer occasionally, not often. And ice cream on a cold night, after a full beer? He’s going to have to do that one alone.
on March 12, 2009 at 5:57 am
lol…it reminds me of a joke I have with my boyfriend that definitely fits right into those stereotypes “they say when a man gains weight he’s ‘living it up’, but when a woman gains weight she’s ‘letting go'”. Yeah….I know that’s not helping, lol
I don’t that all men are dumb and don’t understand nutrition (as you imply the article implies, hehe)….but I would agree that there are much less guys out there that are as conscious about what they eat. And if a woman isn’t conscious of the fact that she shouldn’t eat the same amount as her boyfriend (which will usually be bigger and have a slightly faster metabolism), then she’s going to gain weight….and fast.
(Oh, and force feeding Taco Bell? Well, I’d consider that a sign of affection!!! I love me some Taco Bell! lol)
on March 12, 2009 at 6:12 am
Charlie, I’m thinking that the book is aimed at people a bit younger than you and most of the boys/young men I know pretty much can shovel the food in at random and not gain weight. In fact I remember telling my baby brother (11 yrs. younger than me) when he was in his 20s that he’d better watch out for his 30s. He laughed. He’s 38 now and I was right. As for the sweatpants thing – here is my theory: when I wear sweats regularly, they are loose and comfy and I forget what a waistband feels like. If I gain, the sweats just stretch a bit and I don’t notice. Jeans have no such mercy for my big ol’ behind.
on March 12, 2009 at 7:33 am
Helen: I realize (and agree with) the fact that they really aren’t talking about forty-something men. I, too, had a period in my life where I could shovel food in and … well, dang it, I gained weight. I started college at 150 pounds and left it around 190. So I guess my real problem is still revealed in the title: “stereotypes.” They exist for a reason. No one just makes up a set of traits. They always have a basis in reality. But it makes the poor exceptions to the stereotype feel slighted. Remember, it was either Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten who said, “If you label me, you negate me.”
on March 12, 2009 at 9:41 am
Hmmm, ok I admit that these rules may not apply to you – BUT I can clearly see how the majority of these rules apply to my dear BF. He’s early 30’s – so he’s not a 20 year old, but he definitely still has the metabolism of one.
These are the reasons that totally apply to him:
1,2,3,4,8
Facts that would apply if I did not exist:
10
Facts that absolutely do not apply to him:
5,6,7. He HATES my jogging pants.. which I wear every day 🙂
BUT let me add that I am very self-educated in terms of food, nutrition, exercise and dieting, so his habits DO NOT make me fat. I choose to eat what I want to.
on March 12, 2009 at 10:05 am
Ha! Great post Charlie!
No one makes you fat but yourself – you eat too much and not enough exercise. Simple as that!
I thought of you last night when I was making my pork bbq – I had so much and wished you lived closer so I could bring you some! 😀
on March 12, 2009 at 10:10 am
I wonder what the stats are for women who are in relationships with other women… Anyway, I do believe there are significant metabolic differences between men and women. Women should know this and realize they need to eat differently than their BFs and hubbies if they want to maintain a healthy weight.
on March 12, 2009 at 1:07 pm
I’m slightly annoyed by my boyfriend’s fast metabolism and his coziness with the couch. In fact, he fulfills quite a few of those stereotypes.
However, he does not make me fat, because ummm…I CONTROL MY OWN FOOD.
on March 12, 2009 at 1:31 pm
This is my first time on your blog, and after that post, I am officially a fan. From the looks of it, the article makes men out to be complete neanderthals. I’m glad to know the men in my life don’t quite fit this stereotypes. Another instance of sexism (as in, only women care about what they eat and how they look, and that is the most important thing to them) hurting both men and women. Well done.
on March 12, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Welcome, Andrea!
on March 12, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I like that title rant thursdays. I got to start reading again. Maybe I should try that book. Love the title of your site 🙂
on March 13, 2009 at 9:41 am
I used to blame my weight gain on the people/situations in my life until I realized that the only way the situations were going to be better is if I made it better myself. Strangely enough, after I made the effort, everything else seemed to fall into place. The book might provide some helpful tips but it seems like its so “man-hatey” that it’s going to alienate some would-be readers.
on March 13, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Love a good rant. And I think that you’ve made an excellent point here.
on March 13, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I am outraged. It may come a bit late as I am stuck here in Sunny Seattle and separated from my most glorious spousal unit, but I am outraged.
First, I can make ramen noodles taste like food. And try a grilled cheese sammy with some prosciutto, gruyere, and aged white cheddar. And I can cook at least a thousand other things, too.
And, Charlie, rants can change the world. First comes the willingness to rant. Then comes that following…those who agree with what you are ranting about. Then other people start to listen because you won’t shut up. And suddenly, something changes. Or you go to war.
Never mind.