Five Things

Last week I mentioned the whole “25 Random Things About Me” meme and gave you #19 on my as-yet-uncreated list. Well, I thought about it and thought about it and then thought some more, and against my better judgment, I think I’m ready to do this.

But only five at a time. Why? Because not unlike math and science, writing is hard. Plus, this approach allows me to thoroughly milk the topic for all its worth. Will I post them all in a row? I don’t know. I’m making this whole thing up as I go.

So brace for impact. In no particular order, here are The First Five Odd Facts and Figures You May or May Not Already Know About Me.

1. I’m male.

2. When I was thirteen, I had my first and only midlife crisis. That said, this crisis has continued, uninterrupted, for the entire thirty years since. I think it has two parts. Part One is basically the same crisis I believe most people with moderately stable lives go through: we never really figure out what we want to be when we grow up. Part Two is the less common, egotistical maniac part of the problem. Now, I highly doubt anyone who knows me would actually use the words “egotistical” and/or “maniac” to describe me. But the truth is, I’ve always felt like I’ve had a bit more to offer than the average bear, and that I somehow feel compelled to make this known to everyone in this particular vicinity of the solar system. (This blog is my first real public evidence to support this theory.) Unfortunately, the reality is I’m like the mediocre American Idol contestant who is absolutely convinced he’s the Real Deal, but who also can’t actually sing. I’m doomed.

3. If someone said, “Name one activity you like to do that you wish you could keep doing forever and yet have someone else foot the bill because it costs too much,” I’d probably have to say, “Going out to the movies. A lot.” If someone said, “Name someone you’d like to strangle,” I’d have to say, “The person talking through the entire damn movie that I just paid nine damn bucks to see.”

4. I’ve written and recorded a lot of original music. Ninety percent of it is total crap and I’d be embarrassed to have anyone else hear it. One hundred percent of it was written and recorded more than ten years ago. I need to change both these statistics.

5. I have about a thousand hours of flight experience but only about one hour of that was in the cockpit of an actual, real-life, flying airplane. The other 999 hours were spent in Microsoft Flight Simulator. I’m going to get an actual, real-life, pilot’s license someday, as soon as I get over my fear of flying. Okay, I’m kidding about the fear of flying. I love flying. But unfortunately, the pilot’s license is on the todo list three entries below, “Find someone to pay for all my movie outings for the rest of my life.”

So there you have it. Hard to believe we’re already one fifth of the way through this mess. If you leave a comment today, tell me one thing about yourself I don’t know. I’ll pick my favorite one and that person will receive a free one-year subscription to this blog.