Weight loss is like a good adventure story. There’s a hero (you) and there are villains (tubs of buttered movie popcorn). There’s a mentor (Richard Simmons) and a love interest (tubs of buttered movie popcorn). There are sweeping highs and dismal lows and in the end you hope everyone lives happily ever after.
I’m sure when you first met Tubs of Buttered Movie Popcorn, you immediately knew that it was true love. It became obvious when every time Tubs asked you to do something (let’s say, fetch a pitcher) you would always reply, “As you wish.”
But you’d been burned before in previous relationships. You didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. So you learned about “moderation” and eventually the weight started to come off. Life was good. But, alas! eventually all good things come to an end. You hit a plateau. No matter what you tried (same plan, different plan, mixing it up, …) you got stuck. “Inconceivable!”
“You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.”
I sensed this coming last week and this week’s weigh-ins confirmed it. Here’s a string of days for you: 206.5, 206.5, 206.5, 206.5, 206.5 (yes, five days in a row: a new record), 207.5, 206.5, 207, 207.5, 207. Hrmph! Some of those days I ate 1500 calories. Some days 2500. Some were good days. Some days contained candy.
But what’s really going on is my body knows The Holidays have started. Like a bear heading into hibernation, everything changes. So I’m switching to a new plan. Instead of “weight loss” I’m going to go with “not gain.” It’s time to dig in my heels, watch myself, and if I show up here on January 5, 2009 and I’m still 207, it’ll be a Christmas Miracle.
| Day 98 | |
| Starting Weight | 224.0 |
| Current Weight | 207.0 |
| Change from Last Week | +0.5 |
| Lost So Far | 17.0 |
| Pounds To Go | 8.0 |
I know this sounds like “giving up” to most of you. But you don’t know me the way I know me and believe you me: not gaining during this time of year is infinitely more difficult than losing the rest of the year.
But I’m up for the challenge. I’ve been pursuing this six-fingered goal since I was a boy. And for the first time ever, I think I just might do it. Come January, I will look my fat straight in the eye and say, “Hello. My name is Charlie Hills. You killed my tennis career. Prepare to die.”
on November 3, 2008 at 12:27 am
Good luck!
You’re not alone in your “not gaining” goal. I don’t think it sounds like “giving up,” but I might be biased…
Here’s to hoping for a Christmas miracle–
on November 3, 2008 at 4:20 am
No way are you giving up!!! Not gaining (maintaining) is the real goal… losing is just the journey towards that. You are so right though, the holidays are a killer. I feel like I’m starting all over again right now. It’s not easy.
on November 3, 2008 at 6:22 am
You can do it! You will get that Christmas miracle! I just know it!!
on November 3, 2008 at 9:22 am
Hey are you sure you’re not undereating some days? 1500 calories is not a lot for a guy… if your body sniffs out that it’s being deprived it is going to cling to the fat like I cling to my doritos. Remember being “too good” can backfire and make you binge and freaks your body out too. Get your full allowance in each day rather.
on November 3, 2008 at 10:39 am
Good Luck and I’m with ya on the “no gain” thing! 🙂 Happy Holidays!
on November 3, 2008 at 11:51 am
Thank you….you just gave me a new goal! I’ve been so caught up in losing the weight I’ve put on in the last year from my injury…maybe I need to shift focus. 🙂
Good luck with your goal. And now I want to go watch that movie.
on November 3, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I think you can do it Charlie! Just tell your fat that its June 1st not November!
on November 3, 2008 at 2:44 pm
How I wish I could have the “no gain” thing, which is what I usually do starting mid November-January 1. However, I just finished a marathon and whenever I train for /run one of those, I gain weight. So I’ve ALREADY gained my holiday weight which I am now trying to lose before the holidays. Sigh.
on November 3, 2008 at 3:03 pm
I love your style Charles.. and your writing is wonderfully humorous and true … best to you and I have a feeling You can maintain for the rest of the year.. !
on November 3, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I know exactly what you mean. Somehow my weight loss attempts always coincide with a major obstacle – whether it be holidays, or pregnancy or minor ones like a weekend with 3 parties. I think being realistic is a great approach.
on November 3, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Not gaining is a great goal during the holidays. This is a case of knowing when to hold em…
on November 3, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Em: yes, I am undereating some days and I am trying to fix that. Those days aren’t on purpose. It’s typically how it falls out on a busy schedule.
Holly: What movie? *wink*
Helen: If you want to lose the weight you gained, try running a marath—oh wait. Never mind.
Jen: A weekend with three parties! Holy crap. I don’t think I’ve been to that many parties since 1997.
on November 4, 2008 at 8:39 am
so weird! i watched the princess bride monday afternoon!!
on November 4, 2008 at 10:15 pm
And all I can think of is… if you’re gonna talk about movie popcorn… you need to add milkduds… No wait… ummm what was that?
on November 5, 2008 at 1:55 am
Tub of Movie Popcorn (not buttered), you know I love you, but it’s not a healthy love – it’s the kind of love that everyone but the people experiencing it can see is a train wreck. You and the jumbo-sized pack of Twizzlers will jus have to do without me. I…I…I have to go, now. No, no, please don’t tell me you can change, that we can still be friends…it’s best this way.
Oh…well…maybe we can hang out once in a while…but the minute you try anything, I am SO dumping you.
Congrats on the progress so far!
Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who had a goal of 20 pounds gone this year and has managed 16 to date. Since January. Sigh. Still…I can do four by December, right? Right?? Why do I hear crickets…?)
on November 6, 2008 at 4:08 pm
You will be able to stay out of the “pit of dispair.”
I think not gaining is a fantastic goal for this season…avoid the POUS’s (portions of unusual size) and you’ll be fine. 🙂
:),
Anne
P.S. Seriously, I *heart* the Princess Bride!!! 🙂
on November 6, 2008 at 9:13 pm
The setup of your blog is amazing! Good job on your progress so far!
on November 18, 2008 at 6:56 am
How long are the ‘holidays’ in Amercia? Here (England) we have Holloween (1day), xmas day (1 day), boxing day (1day), new year (1day).
That’s 4 days in 2 months?
So in an average of 60 days, less 4 days, you can’t lose weight? In 56 days you only want to maintain?
That’s like a self inflicted 2 month plataeau!!!
Sorry to be the one to rock the boat, but, I think your goal sux Charlie…..lol
Tusc :o)
on November 18, 2008 at 8:13 am
Tusc: Yes, it’s exactly like a self-inflicted plateau. And that’s the problem!