One Hundred Times

Hey look, it’s me again. I didn’t actually intend to take this much time off. Like so many things in life, it just happened. May was . . . well, let’s just say May is behind us now and leave it at that. I may fill you in later, but what’s important now is I’m back.

One week ago, June 1, 2010, was a monumental day in my twenty-year career as a professional dieter: Day One #100. Yes, it was bound to happen sooner or later. This number, as some of you die-hard followers may already know, is derived by counting the number of rows in my Excel spreadsheet where the phrase “Day One” appears. I officially started counting out this number in public in this very old post. (Man, I forgot how ugly this site used to be).

It’s a funny number. In some ways I think, “Only one hundred? Sheesh! It feels like I’ve done this a thousand times.” But then I put my propeller hat back on and say, “Wait a minute, that’s one Day One every 2.4 months for twenty years. That’s flippin redonkulous.” I’m then reminded of the popular definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” (For some reason, the internet believes this is an Albert Einstein quote. I think I may submit that one to Mythbusters.)

So a week ago I said (for the 100th time) enough’s enough and decided to not eat something every five minutes of my waking hours (and every forty-five minutes while asleep). And, as usual, my body responded to this change.

At the end of week one, I’m down about three pounds. Now, this is where everyone posts a comment along the lines of, “Awesome!”, “Great job!”, “You Rock!” Before you do, though, take a moment and consider: this is how every Week One starts out. And given the fact that this is my one-hundredth Week One, I’m going to say that a good start like this is absolutely no indicator of long-term success. In fact, since I’m still wearing my propeller hat, I can go back, re-examine the data, and conclude that this type of performance is absolutely a predictor of failure. Maybe I need a Week One that ends in a ten pound gain? That would turn things around.

Also, as long as I’m still playing the part of Debbie Downer, I kinda screwed up over the weekend again. Although this is a three pound loss for the week, I was also down three pounds after the first two days. In fact, I was down four pounds after four days. Then the weekend hit and I went up another pound and a half. If anything that’s a predictor of long-term failure.

But, I’ll stick at it. I have my reasons . . . not the least of which is simply because I’m insane. Albert Einstein told me so.