About a month ago, I and twenty-seven thousand, three hundred and eighty-two other bloggers, were contacted by Diana, the POM Blogger. “I love your blog. Want some Pomegranate juice?”
Pomegranate juice. What for? I asked myself. But the first thing I asked Diana was, “How much juice are we talking about?”
It’s been my experience that free samples of items typically never come in quantities large enough to actually discern any health benefit. Her reply, as twenty-seven thousand, three hundred and eighty-one of you already know, was, “Eight eight-ounce bottles.”
Hmmm… I could make a fair amount of Grenadine out of that, I told myself. But what I told Diana was, “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.”
The case arrived promptly and I promptly carried the sixty-four ounces of perishable liquid to the big fridge at work. I then promptly let it sit there for at least a week before trying it. I needed to do a little more research before I ingested this candy from strangers. For all I know, Diana, the POM Blogger, was really an arch-villain of Batman, intent on taking over all of Gotham City with her “pomegranate” juice, one blogger at a time.
Here’s what I found out.
Pomegranate juice improves blood flow to the heart. According to their web site, “Researchers studied a total of 45 patients with coronary heart disease who had reduced blood flow to the heart. Patients drinking POM Wonderful 100% Pomegranate Juice experienced a 17% improvement in blood flow, compared to a 18% worsening in patients drinking a placebo.” Yikes. I’d say, avoid placebos at all costs, people.
Arterial plaque decreased by 30% for patients drinking POM Wonderful. And what about the poor patients drinking PLACEBO Wonderful? Around 7% had their dogs run away from home, 16% experienced mild to severe Cheez-It cravings, 13% inexplicably purchased Snuggie Blankets, and 2% died from placebo overdoses.
Intent on avoiding any unpleasant placebo incidents, I happily cracked my first bottle and chugged it.
About ten minutes later, one of my arteries cleared. A few minutes after that, I found a ten dollar bill in a coat pocket. And then later that night, I actually got to turn in early for bed. It was wonderful, I tell you. POM wonderful. I immediately told a friend about POM Wonderful but he refused to try it. Later that day, he lost his job! Do not anger the POM Wonderful, people.
In all seriousness, it was pretty tasty. But I already liked pomegranate, so I wasn’t surprised. After all, it really is 100% pomegranate juice. And check out these bullet points:
- It’s chock full o’ antioxidants.
- Studies have indeed shown heart-healthy improvements.
- And best of all? It’s absolutely free if you happen to run a blog.
So give it a try folks. You’ve got Batman’s guarantee:
on April 2, 2009 at 5:28 am
I told her (Diana) that I didn’t accept gifts.
Bribes, on the other hand, are perfectly acceptable.
on April 2, 2009 at 5:43 am
Ha, I got the POM juice too and promptly cooked with it. Never thought about its villain-fighting properties!
on April 2, 2009 at 5:53 am
You could almost say that Diana POM’d this off on those with blogs.
on April 2, 2009 at 6:34 am
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/414YXj2IjTL._SL500_AA280_.jpg
GO BUY THESE – they are AMAZING!!
Hallie
on April 2, 2009 at 7:16 am
Warning. Recent test have discovered unhealthy amounts of the Conficker Worm virus in POM. Long-term effects on the user (drinker) are unknown, as the host computer has yet to activate the virus. Drink at your own risk!
on April 2, 2009 at 9:23 am
I happen to like my POM juice in the form a Martinis. It’s amazing how long an 8 oz bottle with last with all that vodka added to it! 🙂
on April 2, 2009 at 10:16 am
dud you are funnier than I could ever hope to be.
EVAHHHH.
on April 2, 2009 at 10:44 am
Good thing I tried it, I wouldn’t want to lose my job!
on April 2, 2009 at 11:04 am
Ha! This one sentence made me laugh out loud!
I immediately told a friend about POM Wonderful but he refused to try it. Later that day, he lost his job! Do not anger the POM Wonderful, people.
It’s still a bit high in carbs for me for a drink – I too got the email from Diana, and while I told her I probably wouldn’t drink it because of the carb count, I believe its on its way!
Have a Pom Wonderful Day!
on April 2, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Best.POMreview.EVAH.
And that’s coming from someone who got the POM and reviewed it!
on April 2, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Like your seal of approval!
I don’t like the POM juice myself. But that’s because I don’t like juice. But it’s tasty in smoothies!
on April 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Hey, no one sends ME free pomegranate juice–and I love healthy fare! Charlie, you are one lucky guy. . . .
on April 6, 2009 at 5:23 am
Yeah I didn’t get any POM offers either. Maybe you have to have more than 3 1/2 readers for your site, don’t know.
At least they get the seeds out of the POM.