New House Problems

As of Friday, October 30, 2015, we’re now about three hundred and eighty four hours, twelve minutes, and thirty-three man-seconds into this project. Last week, in spite of my better judgment, I decided to talk about it out in the open. I almost didn’t, fearing that whether I talked about the ups or the downs, it might still come across as annoying and pointless. Well, here’s my first real update. You decide.

Here is a picture of the lot before all this started:

I remember thinking, “Hmmm, a lot of trees here. Not much room for a house. I’d better go talk to someone about this.” What I didn’t realize is that this was just the first of several dozen problems which I did NOT expect this soon in the process.

So I went to the builder and said, “What’s with all the trees? Where are we supposed to put the stupid house? We’re not building a tree house, you know!”

“Don’t worry, sir, we’ll take care of it.”

And boy did they ever! I went back ten minutes later and the lot looked like this:

So I stormed back to the builder. “What happened to all the trees?!” I asked politely at the top of my lungs. “I wanted to keep them!”

“But, sir…” they began. “You said…”

“No buts!!!” I interrupted. “I want those trees put back in the next ten minutes or I’ll just go build a house somewhere else!”

They promised they would put them back. But an hour later, they still weren’t back.

Weeks went by and a bad thought occurred to me. I thought, “I’m buying a new house. I’m paying a lot of money for this new house. So where is it? Don’t tell me after that deforestation debacle, that they’re all done!”

So I drove back out to see my new house. You’re not gonna believe this!!! My house is just a pile of sticks! Look at this picture:

I paid the builder for a house. Not a pile of sticks! Not even a roof. All our stuff is going to get wet.

So I walked around the pile of sticks to see what the finished landscaping looked like. Landscaping! Ha! You call this landscaping? Who did they hire to do this, a bunch of four-year-olds from the Happy Giraffe Day Care up the street?

Supposedly this is the guest bedroom! Sure hope you like the plastic “carpet” mom!

And take a look at this. This is my damn shower! They expect me to take a shower here? Without plumbing or walls or even a little soap holder? I’m really starting to feel like I got the short end of the stick on this deal.

As I turned to leave, disgusted with this mistake of a project, it started raining. Great! EXACTLY what I feared when I first saw that pile of sticks they call a finished house. Now the floor’s all wet. For the amount of money this is costing me, I sure hope they toss in a free wet-vac so I can clean up this mess.

I’m hoping things turn around soon, but with the project this far off the rails this early in the game, I’m not so sure. Next thing you know, I’ll find out there’s no electricity.

Wait a second . . .

Do you see any outlets!?!?